Art * Illustration * Dolls * Daydreams

Monday, October 21, 2013

On any given day, addiction is everywhere

Emily is home sick from school today and I needed to run out to get pet products.  A new novel for her at Barnes & Noble and she has been begging me for blue mascara.  So, before I got home, stopped at my local Walgreens, literally 3 streets from our house.  

We go often to this store and know many of the people that work there.  Today as I pulled into a space that my car has pulled into dozens of times, to the left of me was a white work truck. As I came to a stop, glanced over to see a young man sitting in this truck, in his mid 20s, wearing a blue work shirt.  He was using a straw to smoke from foil.  I was kinda shocked.  Wow, broad daylight. He didn't notice me staring at him for a few moments.  As I opened my door to get out, he saw me, lowered his straw and tried to hide what he was doing.  
He then smiled at me broadly.  
Not sure if I smiled back or not.  

All I could think of is that one of my sons use to do this very thing.  

This young man was at that moment, my son. 

Had I ever seen my son use?  no.  After this, might as well have.  This young man is someone else's son.  Do they know he does this?  How far into it is he?  My heart sank for the struggle he will have, what he and his family will go through...or have already.  

Maybe he will die.  
A lot of heroin users do.  
Having read everything I could on Heroin/opiate addiction makes the statistics so daunting.

Walking slowly to the store, all I wanted to do was go back, knock on his window and talk to him.  But fear crept in.  What if he got violent, or what???? So I spoke with the manager, telling him what I saw. Also shared with him that we had an addict in our family that use to do the same thing...and I started to cry.  Not sure what to do next, I stood in the store texting my family to share the experience.

Even walking outside again to look, his truck was still there.    
"Go talk to him" my voice inside said.  
Will it matter?  
Did talking to my son matter when he was high?
No.
I didn't. 

Don't think the managers confronted him, but they did go out to collect carts and make themselves noticed.  By the time I left, he was gone.  But I was still sad and have spent some time today thinking about him, about the friends I have who have addict sons.  About my son who is doing so well right now and how proud we are of him...but of course I still worry and probably will for a very long time.

  Spent some moments today reliving our family's struggle and how it hit home to me again that we are so not alone.  On any given day, addiction is everywhere.  

And it made me sad.  

Wish I could hug that boy with enough LOVE to fill him up so he never turned to a drug again to fill himself up.  

But I know that doesn't work.

This was a moment in my Monday.
Blessings to you my friends.
XO

6 comments:

  1. Oh Lisa, this just breaks my heart... addiction is such a terrible demon, and effects so many families. So sorry that you had to see that.

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    1. Thank you Natalie. But at least I can share it and maybe someone else will read this and know they are not alone either. XO

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  2. you did a tremendous service by caring and talking about it. thanks for sharing even though it was painful, scary and upsetting. These are the cold hard facts, but you shared them in a kind and caring way. thanks for being you and caring for the addicted soul. glad your son is doing well. xoxo

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    1. Thank you Kecia! Much Love to you. Life is too short not to share and be honest. We are all in this life together. XOXO, Lisa

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  3. My dear love, I treasure you and you are doing what you can with yours and it has been incredible! Just pray he has a mom like you and he gets the help as your boy did! I pray everyday for him and you and all of us!!! <3 I love you and thank you for sharing!

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    1. Thank you for your prayers Barb. Love and miss you sweet friend. XOXO

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