Art * Illustration * Dolls * Daydreams

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Truth

Blogs are mostly full of pretty & Rosy pictures,
creative ideas and uplifting stories about Life, Art and Love.

Well, today...not so much.

5 of the last 7 days have been the hardest in my life so far, 
along with watching my 2nd husband lie in a CCU for 7 days before he died.

One of my family members has a serious addiction.  An addiction that can take his life.
How hard it is to watch firsthand a person you love more than your own life basically
almost throw their entire life away over a drug.

You suddenly realize how little else matters, that you will do anything, 
give anything to get this person better.
This person is now someplace he needs to be to get help, but
with addiction or life for that matter, there are no guarantees.

I am suppose to do a Trade Show this weekend, The California Gift show.
Over a month of hard work, thousands of dollars spent, 
lots of anticipation and excitement I had for this event.

Losing 5 days of work has not only sent me behind on my time line of preparation, but even
more than that, all of the joy of creating has been robbed from my soul.

As I stood in my studio yesterday, for the first full day after what was truly 5 days of
a living nightmare, in this place I considered my Sanctum...
looking around at everything, I found no joy in any of it.
None of it matters.  It could all just disappear and I wouldn't care.

So, here I sit, eyes full of tears, a lump in my throat and cup of coffee in hand, 
trying to muster the energy to see this thing through.

I am sharing this with you not because I want your pity,
only to know that if you have gone through this
or do go through this, it is OK to share the experience.
It is OK to feel the emotion.
It is LIFE and no one is immune from it's trials.

So, I will trudge through, get done what I can and on a wing and a prayer
basically "Wing" this show, hoping to at least make some of my $ back,
because, yes...I need the money.

Which seems so trite because
after all, we can't really put a price on a life.



Much Love my friends.

17 comments:

  1. so sorry lisa,i know how hard it is. please let me know if there is anything i can do.

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  2. Thank you so much for your authenticity and blogging about a deeply personal topic and difficult time. Your strength and courage helps all of us walk through our daily trials. Praying for you and your family <3

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  3. Prayers for you and your family Lisa. Im thinking of you today.

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  4. My sweet friend, I feel so blessed to have such a strong friend in my life.. I'm always in ahhh over your strength & character. We all could be one phone call away from a life altering experience, question is how will we handle it~My prayers for you and family~
    Love you VSS
    Kat

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  5. I'm so sorry for week you have had..... You will be so busy at the LA Mart you will not have time to think of anything else...... much love....

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  6. Lisa,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and I know that your time at the Mart will be blessed. If I can come and help you or be of any kind of support to you, just let me know. I am a phone call away! Love you!

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  7. Lisa,
    I am truly sorry for what you and your family have been going thru. I have dealt with a similar experience with a family member off and on over the years and it is so draining in every way - mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I understand your sorrow and empty feeling. But I mean it when I say, the Lord is good. It isn't meant to just wipe a big rainbow paint brush over everything as though it isn't happening. But we can find joy in the midst of tragedy and painful experiences, even if it's just knowing He is there and shares our pain.
    Your soul is meant to experience joy in the spiritual gifts He has blessed you with - and MOST importantly - OTHERS are meant experience joy and be blessed by your spiritual gifts. In other words, your gift of creativity and craftsmanship is a blessing to those that love, appreciate and are amazed and INSPIRED by it. Don't allow the enemy to rob others from experiencing those blessings.
    Lay this burden at His feet and go bless and be blessed girl!
    Sincerest blessings to you dear,
    Mis

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  8. Hi Lisa, I'm so sorry that this is part of the path you walk, but good will come out of it! Your creativity can be and is a sanctuary for your soul in the midst of the darkest times, It certainly has been for me. My prayers are with you and your family at this time. Wishing you a wonderful and very successful show!!! XO Christie

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  9. I offer you my shoulder and a warm hug.
    Love you girl.
    xo, Amber

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  10. I have a sense of what you are going through Lisa. I found out in January that my 19 year old son is a heroin addict, It has been a nightmare and I have had to grieve for him and the person that he could have been. After 3 attempts at detox and 21 day rehab, he has been sober for about 2 months.
    It was worse than when my mom died. Please let me know if I can be of any comfort to you.

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  11. I LOVE your post, I LOVE your honesty, I LOVE your HEART! Blessings sweet one & sometimes just 'wingin it' is the greatest gift of all.
    Big Hugs,
    Susie
    My girlfriends favorite mantra is 'fake it till ya make it', I like that one too...

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  12. Lisa: My prayers to you during this time of pain. Being out with others even if in a fog will be better than in pain alone. Try to keep spirits up.

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  13. You are constantly in my thoughts. I'm sending hugs and love your way!

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  14. Lisa,
    I wish I could take the pain away for you! You are strong and authentic and I know this will carry you through this. Saying the serenity prayer always helps me a little...Big hugs and love are being sent your way...karen....

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  15. Lisa,
    Lots and lots of love to you and your family.
    I truly love and admire your wonderful heart. Sending up prayers for his healing.
    I also want you to know that you had a beautiful and peaceful glow about you on Saturday...I believe you shine brightly in your art. Your space looked amazing and I hope the show went well for you.
    xoxo & lots of love,
    Debbie & Larry

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  16. So sorry to hear this.....remember Im only 5 minutes away if you ever need someone to water...feed a dog or whatever!!!!!!!! I have deat with this before with family members and its awful...hang in there....!!!

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  17. Hi Lisa,
    I really appreciate the honesty of your post. I'm praying for strength for you and your family. I also hope creating can give you some joy and hope during this hard time.
    Take care,
    Martha

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