Blogs are mostly full of pretty & Rosy pictures,
creative ideas and uplifting stories about Life, Art and Love.
Well, today...not so much.
5 of the last 7 days have been the hardest in my life so far,
along with watching my 2nd husband lie in a CCU for 7 days before he died.
One of my family members has a serious addiction. An addiction that can take his life.
How hard it is to watch firsthand a person you love more than your own life basically
almost throw their entire life away over a drug.
You suddenly realize how little else matters, that you will do anything,
give anything to get this person better.
This person is now someplace he needs to be to get help, but
with addiction or life for that matter, there are no guarantees.
I am suppose to do a Trade Show this weekend, The California Gift show.
Over a month of hard work, thousands of dollars spent,
lots of anticipation and excitement I had for this event.
Losing 5 days of work has not only sent me behind on my time line of preparation, but even
more than that, all of the joy of creating has been robbed from my soul.
As I stood in my studio yesterday, for the first full day after what was truly 5 days of
a living nightmare, in this place I considered my Sanctum...
looking around at everything, I found no joy in any of it.
None of it matters. It could all just disappear and I wouldn't care.
So, here I sit, eyes full of tears, a lump in my throat and cup of coffee in hand,
trying to muster the energy to see this thing through.
I am sharing this with you not because I want your pity,
only to know that if you have gone through this
or do go through this, it is OK to share the experience.
It is OK to feel the emotion.
It is LIFE and no one is immune from it's trials.
So, I will trudge through, get done what I can and on a wing and a prayer
basically "Wing" this show, hoping to at least make some of my $ back,
because, yes...I need the money.
Which seems so trite because
after all, we can't really put a price on a life.
Much Love my friends.